I Still Remember. . .

In loving memory of Vicki,vicki-colemanart2015-8260
out of my sight but never out of my heart!
Always loved, never forgotten!
I still remember. . .

One year ago, Vicki transitioned to her new home.  The days, weeks, and months since then have been the most difficult that I have ever faced.  The days have been extremely challenging, and the nights have been painfully long.  Even today it still seems surreal.  Yet, through it all, God has remained my source of strength.

Allow me, if you will, not to list everything, but to just remember a few things today.  And if there are any specific things that you remember about Vicki, I would be so honored if you would add those memories at the end of this post, or on the blog comments.

To Vicki:

I still remember the first time we met at that little church in your home town.  As I was playing the guitar and scanned across the congregation, our eyes locked and our lives would never be the same.  Your abbreviated  version, which I heard you relate many times was:  “He was picking and I was grinning, and he grinned back.  And the rest is history.”

I still remember the day we said “I do” and meant it.
I still remember the younger days when finances were scarce and accommodations were small, but it didn’t seem to matter to you, and you never complained, because we had God and we had each other.
I still remember your love for children and teaching, and how you couldn’t resist hugging every child every day in your classroom.  And how you had that unique ability to make every child feel special.
I still remember the first time you held Melody and Matt, and your expression that simply said “this” is what I was made for.
I still remember your desire to stay at home with them, and to love them and teach them, like no one else.  And I am convinced that the foundation you created in them is what holds them steady today.
I still remember the delicious meals you prepared.  You loved cooking and had those special recipes that only you could make.

I still remember your clear, sparkling, bright blue eyes, that radiated God’s love, and saw the best in everyone.
I still remember your warm, glowing, effervescent smile that lit up a room every time you entered.
I still remember your incredibly beautiful, thick, dark flowing hair.
I still remember that your inner beauty was as stunning as your outer beauty.

I still remember your love for God, your family, and others, and in that order.
I still remember how you loved to worship God and your beautiful angelic voice that could lead others into the presence of God, like no one else.
I still remember your incredible musical skills, and your ability to play any piece of music that was put in front of you.
I still remember the way you could teach the depth of the Bible in terms that even a child could understand, but even the oldest could relate.

I still remember your patience when the world around you was falling apart, and the softness of your spirit that could tame any person or situation.
I still remember your ability to connect with someone immediately, and make them feel that they had known you all their life, even on the phone.
I still remember your kindness for others, regardless of their name or their title, or if they had nothing.  All were God’s creation, and because of that, they were important to you.
I still remember your desire to help anyone and everyone you could, and your willingness to stop whatever you were doing at the time, and make the other person your priority.

These are but a few of the many things that I remember today.

I was often told by others that I married up.  And I have to agree.  No truer words were ever spoken.  When God created you, He created a masterpiece.

So a year ago, I didn’t really lose you.  You simply moved to a new location. You didn’t really die, but actually just began to live.  All of the things that made you who you were on this earth, are now magnified many times over.  These attributes are not simply who you were, these are who you are.  You are more alive today than you have ever been.  And though you may not be present on the earth today, I hope you will remember that there is not a day, or night that goes by that I don’t think of you.  I hope that somehow today you will know that you are always on my mind, and forever in my heart, and I am so grateful to God for allowing me the time that I was able to spend with you.

I would never call you back, because I know you’re in a far better place.  And if given a choice, I know, you would never come back, for there is nothing on this earth that can compare with what you are experiencing.  Your transition was only difficult for those of us left behind.  And though I continue in the grieving process, I do not grieve as those who have no hope.  My hope is in the Lord, and with the Lord is unfailing love.  Weeping may endure for the night, but morning is coming, and joy comes in the morning.

Death leaves a heartache no one can heal.
Love leaves a memory no one can steal.

So for today, please know that I still love you.  I miss you like crazy, and…I still remember.

Still believing!


  1. Ray, what a beautiful tribute to your wife who was truly a “masterpiece” of womanhood! The years we came together to intercede were soooo precious to me. She was an inspiration to us as we gathered in the room to pray for others and ourselves. Thank you for sharing your wife with us. And thank you Jesus for holding her close to you until we are all reunited. Sincerely, Larry Tomczak and Doris my wife

  2. Ray, this is a beautiful tribute to a beautiful woman, inside and out!! I thank God for the blessing of having you and Vicki in our life!!

  3. you , And your family are in my prayers. Vicki was a very special person and the two of you were perfect together. I still have her teaching on the tabernacle, she taught it the Sunday Jim was born again. I also remember you baprised my husband and all our children. we love you all very much.

  4. Pastor Ray,
    What a beautiful expression of love to the Love of your life! Such a clear picture of her character and smile that is imprinted on my heart. An incredible love story from our Heavenly Father as well. A tale of Hope, Restoration and Strength. Thank you for sharing her beauty ( inside and out) with us.

  5. Ray,
    Such a beautiful tribute to your wife. Vicki was a precious friend and one thing I remember was the way she would make every person feel that when they talked to her, they had her full attention and her ability to make people feel at that moment with her they were important and valuable. I will always remember her eyes that always had so much life and love in them, her smile and her unshakeable faith, she would end every conversation and text with “still believing “. I am truly blessed to have had her in my life!!!

  6. Vicki was a woman of compassion and love, truly a Prov 31 example. I never heard her complain, only believing. We all miss her, yet like you said, she is better off and has received her reward. I can hear her in heaven saying, “Come on Ray, you can do this”. So glad for the promise of eternity together.

  7. WOW, Ray! This is profound in its heartfelt completeness. You obviously paid attention to the wonder of a woman that God gave you. We love you and are still believing too!

  8. Ray,
    my prayers are with you today. I remember the first time that I stepped foot in Radiant Life Assembly of God in Sherwood Arkansas. I remember being met by you and Vicki with her warmth and smile and greeted us with genuine compassion and love. I remember her taking her shoes off during praise and worship and worshiping God with complete freedom. In many ways she was a role model to many of us. I remember that she was always there and willing to lend an ear and a hand in an encouraging word when anybody in the congregation needed it. I remember a woman that was a prayer warrior and believed in prayer! Send much of my thoughts and my faith today roads and is shaped by you and Vicki as my pastors.

    I pray that God continues to give you the peace that passes all understanding. Although I am saddened that I never got the opportunity to meet back up with you both in this life before she transitioned into glory, I know that there’s a glorious Reunion that we will all have some day. God bless you Ray and family you are often on my mind and in my thoughts and prayers.
    God bless.

  9. Pastor Lowe, I do not know if you renemver me from 25 years ago I went to Radiant Life and lived around the corner from you in Sherwood. I had a baby girl who lived 12 days and Jesus called her home. I got a lot of grounding while at Radiant Life. Vickie made you feel welcome, was always loving and caring and made everyone feel special. I meet the McGregor from S. Africa that came there, Randy Caldwell and some others. Rose Stone and her family, Kathy Phipps, Rite Kerry, Carried McCormick, Hope Conley, Diane, Mary Mills, Mary Ilgner and many more. I enjoyed my time there very much. I heard about Vicki’s passing and so sorry I did not make it. I think of you all often. You have been a blessing to a lot of people. Love what you have shared here about her.
    Love and Prayers,
    Deborah Wagener

  10. What a treasure.

    I am so grateful and honored I got to meet Vicki at the Mercy Ministries luncheon those years ago. I had the privilege of being seating at her table and you both left a lasting impression on me. It’s clear that Vicki is a beacon of light and radiates the love of the Father. Always in our hearts and we pray for continued strength to your entire family through the transition. Thank you, Father, for sharing Vicki with us and we look forward to seeing her again soon.

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